Interview with Joey the Dip

You probably know Joey the Dip, who had his own podcast for a long time, where he would play outsider music, and talk about Korla Pandit and Merrill Womack, and of course, he'd play Uncle Duke's 45's. He stopped the podcast because it was not making money, so he goes to record conventions to sell bootlegs. At his table you can get the complete Dr. Murray Banks on a single CD via mp3 files, and he also has the world's largest collection of cover versions of Burt Bacharach songs, each a separate volume with hot-stamp drawings of Burt on the CDs. Sometimes he offers his hour interview with Vampira discussing James Dean on eBay. He shared these memories:

JOEY: "I have your uncle's music on one of the CD compilations I sell: "Croony Tunes Vol 3." I am such a fan. I think what I do is a great tribute. I'm really sincere."
ME: "Did you ever meet my uncle?"
JOEY: "No, before my time, snookums. I spoke about him to Joe Franklin once."
ME: "What did he say?"
JOEY: "He never met Duke Mitchell either. I haven't met anyone who did. But I did spend an hour in a Times Square Tad's Steakhouse with Sammy."
ME: "What did he say about Duke?"
JOEY: "He said your uncle had a lot of nerve fucking his wife."
ME: "I thought they parted amicably."
JOEY: "That was strictly for the press. You don't want to get a reputation for being difficult. It could make it tough to get work."
ME: "But Sammy didn't get much work."
JOEY: "There you go."
ME: "Duke did. Is Sammy's wife still alive? Would she talk about how she succumbed to Uncle Duke's charm?"
JOEY: "How she sucked cum? Now now, snookums, I don't think she'd talk about it! She must be near 70, too. She's got four grown children to think of, and her community and church!"
ME: "You know I didn't say suck cum, I said succumb. And please turn the music down."
JOEY: "That's Afrikaan Beat. The theme for the Sandy Becker Show. Dig?"
ME: "I never heard of Sandy Becker. Uncle Duke is a legend all over the world, not this Sandy Becker. Why don't you play some of Uncle Duke while we talk?"
JOEY: "Can't break open a sealed CD, snookums. I sell 'em sealed. I have a machine at home that shrink wraps. That's pro, snookums. The CD opens with Ronnie Deauville. Dig?"
ME: "No. Never heard of him."
JOEY: "Sweet cakes, you are understandably hung up on your uncle, but there are so many others who have a cool story. Ronnie was in a wheelchair! Heh heh heh heh heh."
ME: "What's so funny about that?"
JOEY: "Dunno, it always slays me. There's something really funny about it, if you think about it. I mean, it's not as good as the Womack story, but don't get me started! Why do I have to hip people like you? Why don't you get it? Most people who come to a convention like this, just want Blondie or something. They don't value the old stuff I'm trying to sell. They don't think outside the box."
ME: "Do you know anyone else in this convention room I should talk to?"
JOEY: "Here? Rudy Ray Moore. Nope. There's this guy Fredd, spells his name with two D's, and he had his own blog for like, three years. But I don't see him. Bingo the C...he's got bootlegs of old Shindig episodes but I guess your Uncle didn't do that show. Kliph, who spells his name Cliff when he gets published, isn't here this time around. He's depressed because he never gets published. Moogy Sponge just walked by, but he's the prez of the Skiles & Henderson Fan Club. So Fuhgeddaboutit! Are you sure you're not in touch with Sammy, and simply aren't telling me?"
ME: "No. I really don't know where Sammy Petrillo is."
JOEY: "Sammy if you're out there, listen to me. Here is my cool idea of the day. Book yourself on Public Access on the Labor Day Weekend and have your own telethon, raising money for harelips! No, get this, not to cure harelips, but to give harelips to people who deserve it. Like Tony Orlando! Tony was not the singer Duke Mitchell was! Wink wink! Gonzo! Hi-yo!"
ME: "Anything else you can tell me about Uncle Duke?"
JOEY: "No, there is nothing else I can tell you. Read between the lines. Got it?"
ME: "No."
JOEY: "Then you never will. Heh heh."